How to Stop Competing and Create a Community You Love w/ Courtney “CJ” Hicks |

CJ: [00:00:00] Hey, everyone. My name is Courtney Hicks. and I currently live in Dallas, Texas. with my husband and two kids and one on the way. Let’s see. I am a lover of basketball, Netflix binge, and I’m a vegetarian. I recently left my career, 10 years, to start my own business. And so I hope to share that with you guys today. 

[00:00:26] LaWann : [00:00:26] Oh, that sounds awesome. Thank you for joining us today. So as you know, at more than a mother, we believe you can pursue your dreams and be a great mother at the same time. So that means that everyone has a story, and I am a big believer in storytelling.

[00:00:43] So would you mind sharing with our audience or can, or can you share with our audience what your aha moment was that led you to be on the path that you’re on today? 

[00:00:53] CJ: [00:00:53] So my aha moment was honestly when I birthed my daughter, I knew that I didn’t want to put her in a daycare. but I also was still working full time, so I had kind of had to figure something out.

[00:01:09] CJ: [00:01:09] yeah, at the time when I had her, you know, I had, I was on maternity leave for three months. And then I ended up going back to work. Luckily, my sister was living with us at the time, and so she was a huge help. but she was only living, living with us for a few months and she was getting ready to move.

[00:01:28] So I literally was only at work for another three months. While having my daughter, and it was during those three months that I was like, okay, you know what? I need to figure something out. My sister’s getting ready to move. My job was pretty flexible. Like there would be times where if I was able to bring my daughter to work, they would let me.

[00:01:47] But eventually they slowly started saying, okay, you know, she’s, she’s not gonna be able to come in. And one day they were just like, she can’t come and do it. And when they said that, I was like. Oh, we’re going to have to figure something out. Well, it’s, that kind of happened that kind of sparked my, ah ha moment of, alright, it’s time to, it’s time to figure something out for real know.

[00:02:10] So I was doing research on just at home, work from home jobs and a lot of the stuff I. I just, it wasn’t for me. I didn’t want to be a transcriptionist or teach people online. It was a lot of the job that I found. I was like, no, I don’t, I don’t want to do this at home. I want to do something I want to do.

[00:02:30]and I want to be happy doing it, and I want to be my own boss. So this is kind of where I had my aha moment. I was like, you know what? I don’t know what I’m going to do. But. I need to build some confidence to figure this out. So I decided to start an Instagram page. That was just filled with quotes, motivational quotes, to really build my confidence up and inspire myself to go after these newfound crazy dreams that I had.

[00:02:59]and then just in hopes to maybe connect and inspire with other women who might be going through the same thing or who just needed that extra push. Themselves. And so I didn’t really know where the page would go. I just, I was going to show up every day and post these quotes, and the culture stuff that I was currently going through.

[00:03:17] So, I was hoping, like I said, to connect like, Hey, maybe somebody is going through this today, but I would post it and we just gonna see what happened. So in the beginning, I honestly was talking to myself, but these quotes were pushing me and inspiring me, like, Hey, don’t give up. And eventually I started building a community of, women who were of like minded women who were in the same position. And, that’s kind of like I said, that sparked that aha moment. And, as I started building that page up,  I was doing my research on how I can start my own business, while running that page. and I was getting a lot of different ideas and I finally had come up with my business idea that I shared on that page. 

[00:04:01] LaWann : [00:04:01] Yes, and that is where we first connected on that beautiful mindset.queen page that you had with the quotes. I don’t even know. Just, you know, I guess one day things just kind of pop up on your feed and it’s just like you said, it just attracts certain people to things and we never know. Who we’re reaching with our messages with.

[00:04:20] That is where we first connected. I was like, Oh, I like this. 

[00:04:26] CJ: [00:04:26] Exactly. Yeah. You w you were right there from the beginning, like when was first kind of like when I first kind of like started the page. 

[00:04:33] LaWann : [00:04:33] Yeah. I didn’t even realize that until months later or down the road when you kept saying you started like in August.

[00:04:40] I was like, Oh, I was right there when that happened. Yeah. It’s amazing how that happens, but I mean, just sharing those quotes is so powerful. And as you said, you were able to use those quotes even to give yourself that confidence. It helps you build your own confidence as you were going through your different transitions.

[00:04:58] Yes. And I think it was important how you mentioned that after having your daughter and you didn’t want to go back to work, and then those challenges that you encountered, how you just realize, Hey, I gotta figure something out. And then not only did you say, Hey, I have to figure something out, but then you went ahead and did it.

[00:05:14] CJ:Thank you. Thank you. I would say I needed that push from the people that you know, was following me too. And, Because I would look on other people’s pages too, and I’m like, man, they’re doing it. Like this is inspiring. It wasn’t, I didn’t feel like I was competing like, Oh, or jealous or nothing.

[00:05:32] I was like, these are the type of women that I need to be around that I need to see. You know what I’m saying? Like I see other women doing it and I’m like, Hey, this is inspiring. I could do this. You know, I’m, I want to be like this. Like, this is what I want to do with my life. You know? I see them creating the lives that they want.

[00:05:48] And it’s not even just, women who were. Wanting to work from home. It’s just creating the life that they wanted, whether that be climbing the corporate ladder, working from home and starting their own business. You know what I’m saying? It’s just women who are doing what they want to do. Right.

[00:06:03] LaWann : [00:06:03] And I like how you said how it wasn’t about competition. Cause I think so many people get into social media or different areas. I think that they have to compete with someone and it’s like, no, it’s enough room for all of us at the table. So. Building that community because even if we say the same things, we’re not going to say it the same way.

[00:06:22] So what people pull from you or they pull from me, it will be completely different. I think that’s what a lot of people fail to realize when building a business, when going after your dreams that it doesn’t matter how many people are doing it, no one can do it like you 

[00:06:36] CJ: [00:06:36] can. Okay. Well into that, that is exactly like, that is so true.

[00:06:41] Right. I love that you said that. 

[00:06:43] LaWann : [00:06:43] Yeah. So I just think that it was great that you went into it with the mindset, okay, this is what I want to do. And I mean, of course that fits your page, mindset queen. So this is what I want to do and I’m going to figure out how to do it. I see everyone else doing it in their way and there is space for me.

[00:06:59] So yeah. Even though you said you had to build that confidence, you were still confident enough to step out and say, Hey, I’m just going to start this page. I don’t know where it’s going, but I’m just going to do it. 

[00:07:08] CJ: [00:07:08] Yeah, and you know what’s crazy? I actually hid behind the page for. Wow. Show my face. 

[00:07:16] LaWann : [00:07:16] And I kept saying, I want that.

[00:07:17] Yes, you did. I guess I wonder when she’s going to show her. So I’m like, okay, I don’t even know what your name was. And I’m like, hurry and communicate with you. And I’m like, I have no clue what your name is. And then I remember the first day you posted a picture, I was like, Oh, this is who my. Yeah. I was 

[00:07:34] CJ: [00:07:34] like, I only want to show my face.

[00:07:36] Why? I don’t know why. I didn’t want to show his face, but I also just wanted people to continue to be inspired by the quotes. I didn’t want people to like. I don’t know. I really didn’t know, but I was like, okay, but if this page makes it to a hundred followers at a hundred followers, I’m going to show my face and it made it to a hundred followers.

[00:07:56] I was like, what the like, I still have that post on there like, Oh, was like if say like, Oh my gosh, like I can’t believe I just like, this page has grown already and it’s been like. Less than a month. And then that was the first time I showed up. 

[00:08:11] LaWann : [00:08:11] I remember that. So that’s funny. But yeah, but I think it goes to just the confidence thing and stepping out there and just going all in.

[00:08:19] I mean, a lot of people. Put up quotes or those types of things and don’t show their faces for various reasons. But then we start to realize that people want to know who the person is behind this page. So we kind of work our way up to it. Cause I remember when I was first doing my pages years ago, I wouldn’t put my face on anything.

[00:08:38] Like, why does my face need to be there? But then people started telling me, well, people connect with people, but it’s like, no, I don’t want to post my face. I just want to do it. But yeah, so I can completely understand that. So as you were going through all of this transitional period of building the page, leaving your job, cause you were, Oh, behavioral therapist, is that correct?

[00:09:01] Yes. You did that for a number of years. So as you were going through all these transitions, what kind of things did you discover about yourself during that time? 

[00:09:12]CJ: [00:09:12] well I realized that I was already capable. That I just needed to push myself more. And I think kind of will help too, is me being an athlete.

[00:09:25]I don’t know, but I’ve always had to challenge myself and push myself and discipline myself, as an athlete. And so I think that really kind of helped. Me in this transition, like, you got this no matter what. You know, even if you are perfect as something right now, whatever you can, you know, you know something’s not working for you right now.

[00:09:48] Eventually it will if you stay consistent. You know, there’s been so many challenges that I had to overcome with playing sports that I knew, Hey, with me starting up something and. Just trying to just continue to go to it and go through it and be consistent. I’ve always been somebody who likes seeing stuff from the work, from the ground up, and so I was just really excited to like, I’m excited to see where everything would go.

[00:10:18]I think it definitely. challenge me to work on more patience with growing a community and just growing, you know, just following these new found dreams, not having everything together. just definitely working on more patients. Within myself and just within these dreams that I had. 

[00:10:41] LaWann : [00:10:41] Yeah.

[00:10:42] And I think we all get caught up in that. It takes time, cause I mean we see people with established pages or all these likes and all these different things going on. And a lot of times we catch people after they have been building for years and we don’t know what it took for them to get to this point.

[00:10:59] But I think how you said just staying consistent, being disciplined and learning that patience just to kind of run your own race. And build your community. That’s very engaging. I mean, and that’s another thing. You can have a small community, but, and it’d be very engaging, which can be a lot better for you than having a large community that’s not engaging at all.

[00:11:19] CJ: [00:11:19] it definitely, and that’s, yeah, exactly. That’s like what I noticed too. Like, you know, I’m a big believer in just building with people, versus. Trying to, not, not to say that I didn’t try and I wasn’t trying to connect with people who were already, yeah. At their level. But yeah, definitely building with.

[00:11:40]building and connecting with women who were already, or who were in the same type positioning, wanting to build whatever they were trying to build at the moment. You know, that those were the women that I still connect with, the ones who are in it. And that’s what I constantly write on my page.

[00:11:55] Whatever I do, show my face, Hey, these clothes. I don’t just post them, post them. I’m either going through 

[00:12:00] LaWann : [00:12:00] this right now, 

[00:12:01] CJ: [00:12:01] went through it, or, you know what I’m saying? Like I’m right here with y’all. I’m not as, I stress all the time. I’m not at the top. Y’all see me? I try and post my wins. I post my. You know what I’ve learned and stuff.

[00:12:15] And so I try to make sure that I remind my followers, look, y’all, this is, could be something that I went through this week, or this is something that’s happening today. 

[00:12:26] LaWann : [00:12:26] And that transparency in itself is very refreshing. Cause we don’t run into a lot of people that are transparent. Like, Hey, this is life.

[00:12:33] This is what’s happening. I’m posting these pictures, I’m doing all this. But guess what? Life still happens. I mean that’s great because transparency to me is wonderful through telling your story, sharing what you’re going through. Cause then you’re letting people know, Hey. No matter what you see me doing over here, I’m still human.

[00:12:50] Things still happen to me no matter where I make it, what I’m doing, things just come and go and continue to happen. So you just gotta keep going and keep pushing through it. 

[00:12:59] CJ: [00:12:59] Exactly. And at first I wasn’t sure if I was going to continue to just do quotes or pictures or both or more. But then I realized like, no, this page I had to like stick with.

[00:13:10] I wanted to stick with a theme of just it being motivational quotes. So that’s why every now and then I’ll post what’s going on. I try to post my family, but I don’t have a full page just like. Like, I guess bloggers, I don’t know. I don’t really know, but 

[00:13:25] LaWann : [00:13:25] I understand what you’re saying, but I mean, you’re doing, you’re doing what works for you.

[00:13:29] Cause that’s how you start it. And that’s what you built your audience around. So like they say, if it’s not broke, don’t fix it. So, yeah. I think it’s working well cause I know every time I go on my Instagram feed I can guarantee that it’s going to pop up. And I’m like, Hey, yeah, I’m still listening to that one post that you may be like, Hey, whenever you do it, just say 

[00:13:48] CJ: [00:13:48] Hey at the end right. It’s ] like everything I’m doing, I will never forget that because that is something I still do today. No matter what I say, no matter what’s happening, Hey on the, and I’m like, yeah. And they do make it a whole lot better. Is one thing you did teach me? I said, I’ve never thought about it that way. What? It really does work and I really liked that.

[00:14:17] LaWann : [00:14:17] So you’ve mentioned that you have a young daughter. And you are pregnant again, and now you’re building a business and now you have this amazing other venture that you’re doing. So can you share with us what ventures are going into in business now with your mindset collection? 

[00:14:37] CJ: [00:14:37] Yes. So, My business is a women’s watch line and it inspires women through fashion and beauty to recognize the power of their mindset, and to go after their dreams. So in my watches, you’ll see the word mindset. I didn’t want to, I wanted something that meant something. So when you look down at my watch. You’re not just going to see a random name or a random word, that you might see when you have like, you know, other watches.

[00:15:08]what you’re going to see is the word mindset. that’ll continue to give you a daily reminder to, Hey, I have the focus on my mindset. I got goals I want to accomplish. I got dreams that I want to, you know, have made true or have come true. okay. It keeps you focused, and when your mindset is focused, you’re able to continue to work on those goals that you have for yourself.

[00:15:31]as women, you know, we sometimes lose ourselves taking care of everybody else. You know, we were five, six, seven different hats, so, yeah. Or right, or more. I wanted to make it something where, You know, we still felt competent. and you know, when you look good, you feel good. So I want it to be able to have a great something where you can confidently go after your dreams, girl, and slay your way all the way to the top.

[00:15:59]and how I kind of got started building a brand around watches is that, you know, 2020 itself. yeah. Has just reminded us so much how precious and valuable time is. Like I said, he, this was even before 2020 but 2020 itself is just giving us this constant reminder that. You know, time waits for nobody.

[00:16:31] And so now is the time to start going after what you want to do to start investing in yourself, to start, you know, strengthening those skills or learning a new skillset. Because you’re not guaranteed tomorrow. You just don’t know. You just do not know. So that’s kinda how I got started around, watches.

[00:16:52]building a brand around watches. people always ask me like, man, that’s so random. How did you build a brand around? I think, 

[00:16:58] LaWann : [00:16:58] I mean, I think it’s great cause even like women, moms, everything. I mean, even when I was going in looking into what direction I wanted to go with my business and I was talking to some moms and it was like, that always comes up.

[00:17:10] People want more time, they need more time. They don’t feel they have enough time. They want some me time. Like that was just, themes on me. Breaking it down, that that’s genius to me. And then to add the mindset part on top of it, I mean, that is so great because when you’re looking down and you see mindset, it just reminds you that your mindset is everything.

[00:17:34] So it’s all that you’re doing like your mindset is, it doesn’t matter what venture you’re going into. If you don’t have the right mindset, then that can be your own downfall. So that when you’re putting mindset and time together, that is just, that’s genius to me. If nobody ever told you, you know what, you’re the first.

[00:17:51] That’s so, I’m so excited. Thank you. 

[00:17:53] CJ: [00:17:53] Because the crazy thing is I really almost led down, just like tear the whole, you know, this whole dream apart. Like I, even if I wanted to still be my own boss, but I was like, when I came up with this idea, it was like, Oh no, this, you know, I never seen that word. And it’s like, people might met.

[00:18:11] And then I started letting down and all this self talk, and then I, you know what? I was like, nah, nah. I’m doing it, whoever is with it or who believes in the mission, you know? You know, believe in investing in support. And so, I was just like, no, I’m going to do it. Like, this is what it’s going to be.

[00:18:28] LaWann : [00:18:28] Right. And I mean, it’s great that you were able to slay that doubt and get your own mindset right. So that you could go ahead and day. Yeah, man, that is, it’s great. Like I can’t, I’m still stuck on how you just broke it all down. Cause I never would’ve thought that all that was behind this, the watch connection with the mindset and times.

[00:18:45] So I mean, that to me, I’m still stuck on that. That’s just great. 

[00:18:51] CJ: [00:18:51] Like, wow, 

[00:18:52] LaWann : [00:18:52] well you broke it down like that. I’m like, I never would’ve thought of it that way. Yeah, your mindset is the foundation of everything and just being reminded of that along with time and not taking time for granted. So yeah.

[00:19:06] Yeah. Yeah. So how are you managing all of this adjusting to, you’re going to have go from two kids to three kids in the home and a business and all of that. As a mom, as an entrepreneur, how are you finding the adjustments managing at all? 

[00:19:28] CJ: [00:19:28] You know, I’m not going to lie. but you know, a couple of things that’s kind of helped me is just making sure that I’m like.

[00:19:38] Making time to work on the business and to, you know, work on, motherhood and to work on, being a good wife. You know, all these key parts. Like if I just, if I forget one thing, something else falls down, you know? So I’m making sure that I, You know, make, making the time to still be all that I could be in every hat that I wear, but, you know, having a, to do list, to actually have, to have to, to do this, like I have to have a separate business to do is, and a separate, just regular to do list because if I add them both together I don’t know what’s going to get done. Yeah, that’s a good one. So, you know, that kind of helps me balance and separate, okay, it’s time to work on the business to do it. This is what is going to get done while my dad or while my daughter is asleep. 

[00:20:33] LaWann : [00:20:33] Right. 

[00:20:33]CJ: [00:20:33] and this is what’s going to get done later on when I put her to bed or whatever, you know?

[00:20:38] So I try to create the time during her nap times and during what she’s like. You know, sleep. When I put her down to sleep for the night, that’s when I try and get a lot of my stuff done that I need to get done. But okay. You know, in the beginning you’re still trying to figure it out. So I’m still in the beginning and still trying to figure it out, but it has been working for me, and is having my stuff.

[00:21:06] I’m getting my stuff done during her specific times where she’s asleep and whether that means staying up late. I’ve stayed up till 12 one, two in the morning, like, all right, Nope. I said I was going to get this done, this, this is going to get done. In the beginning was really hard during my first trimester because I would literally be so tired.

[00:21:27] So I’m like, Whoa, well, she goes to sleep, I’m going to sleep, and others are going to do this later. But the second trimester, actually I’ve had some insomnia, which has kind of helped because I just. Can’t go to sleep. So I’m like, well, I’m just going to work on this because I’m already up and she’s going to be getting up in a minute to breastfeed, so I’m just going to stay up.

[00:21:53] And then when she goes back to sleep, I go right now. So I try and like in those times, try and get what I can get done. and when I’m not working on that, I’m just being, you know, motherhood and family and wife and. When you know the other times that I’m not doing businesses. 

[00:22:10] LaWann : [00:22:10] I like how you said that you create the time, and I think that’s what a lot of people don’t realize, that you have to find a way to make the time and create the times.

[00:22:18] If you sit around waiting for the right time, it’s never going to come so. 

[00:22:22] CJ: [00:22:22] Yeah. 

[00:22:24] LaWann : [00:22:24] Just throwing that out there to all the moms and women that may be listening, that you have to be intentional and create the time because you’re never going to find the right time. So  that’s powerful in  itself. 

[00:22:37] CJ: [00:22:37] Yes. Right. 

[00:22:40] LaWann : [00:22:40] So what would you say is, has been the most rewarding part of your journey so far?

[00:22:45] CJ: [00:22:45] Girl getting to stay home with my daughter and man, 

[00:22:49] LaWann : [00:22:49] that’s awesome. 

[00:22:50] CJ: [00:22:50] Knowing that the safe and I don’t have to worry about anything crazy happening. 

[00:22:57] LaWann : [00:22:57] Yeah. 

[00:22:58] CJ: [00:22:58] You know everything. What’s going on in the world right now. 

[00:23:03] LaWann : [00:23:03] It’s 

[00:23:03] CJ: [00:23:03] crazy. It’s too much. You know what I’m saying? So I just know that right now the most rewarding thing is.

[00:23:10] I said, the reason why I wanted to start my own business was that way I could spend more time and stay home with my daughter, and that is what’s happening. So even though she may be like tired of me some days, like I see too much during the day, like my dad or something, or my sister, 

[00:23:26] LaWann : [00:23:26] I don’t care. That 

[00:23:28] CJ: [00:23:28] is the most rewarding part is that I get to stay home, make sure she’s safe, make sure she’s fed, make sure you know.

[00:23:35] LaWann : [00:23:35] And that’s wonderful. And I mean, like you said, all these at the time we’re recording this, the Corona virus is running rampant here. So that is a piece of mind in itself. And just the fact that. You remain focused on your why, and I think that’s important to point out too, as you’re saying that this is what you wanted to do.

[00:23:53] You were intentional. You set the goals and you focus on, okay, this is why I’m going to do it, and you made it happen. So 

[00:23:59] CJ: [00:23:59] that’s great advice 

[00:24:00] LaWann : [00:24:00] for those that are listening, that if you have a why, if you know that you want to be doing something different than you have to be intentional, intentional to make it happen.

[00:24:08] CJ: [00:24:08] So. 

[00:24:10] LaWann : [00:24:10] Exactly. Yes. Yes. So where can our audience connect with you, find you, see and find some of these great watches that you have? 

[00:24:20] CJ: [00:24:20] Yes. So my business is, my business page on Instagram is mindset dot collection. That’s where you’ll be able to find the watches at. and it has, it has the website in my bio, but the website is also www.mindsetcollection.com so you’ll be able to see the watches.

[00:24:42] Oh, there was also one thing I meant to mention, with. Starting my business. I was just, I was just so eager to start that. I literally started, I had researched my startup costs and whatever. So I literally started with whatever I had. I had enough to start with a watch and a bracelet. So that’s why on my website, I only have at the moment, one watch a, my line of one bracelet.

[00:25:09] But as I continue to grow, I plan on adding more to my collections. 

[00:25:13] LaWann : [00:25:13] And that’s important too because so many people get focused on wanting to have so many things that they don’t realize that if you just start and focus on one thing or one or two things that you can manage at that time. Then it can grow.

[00:25:26] So that it’s very important to mention that because the idea of one, so let me do this one thing and this is what I’m going to focus on. This is what I’m going to perfect and craft and get it together. And then when I can grow, I can grow. And that really takes a lot of the pressure off of you as being a new business owner, cause enough pressure with that.

[00:25:45] But then if you’re trying to manage all these different products and things, that just adds extra stress. So there are simplicity in the power of one. So. Well, that is great. So we’ll be sure to link to your website and your Instagram page in the show notes. And I am just so excited and I thank you for joining me today.

[00:26:07] I am definitely going to have to add it to my budget so I can get one of these watches because I need to look down and be reminded of mindset. So yes, I can’t wait. 

[00:26:16] CJ: [00:26:16] Awesome. Well, thank you so much. I appreciate it. 

[00:26:19] LaWann : [00:26:19] Thank you. It was great talking to you and I will see you on 

[00:26:22] CJ: [00:26:22] Instagram as always. Sounds good.

[00:26:25] Have a good rest of the day.