Real Moms Share How To Overcome Mom Guilt (Part 1)

LaWann Moses 0:30 

Welcome to the more than a mother podcast. This is your host LaWann Moses and I am back with you once again. I hope you’ve been enjoying our show so far.

Today I wanted to introduce to you something different, something brand new. I know you’ve gotten used to hearing my voice and my voice only. But I believe that motherhood is all about community and about each one of us reaching out to help each other. I reached out to some of my mom friends on these great interwebs and just asked them if they’d be interested in collaborating with me and offering some advice to their fellow mothers. So we have everything from stay at home moms that are working out of the home, to working moms that go into a job every day, from the United States, to India, to Germany to Italy, and just all around the country all around the world. has some great guests and some great moms that are going to be coming to you. So I asked these moms, what’s the number one piece of advice you would give to another mother to help her overcome mom guilt. The responses have been amazing so far, and I am just so excited to finally share them with you. So The next few weeks, you’ll be hearing from some of my mom friends, offering their best advice on surviving and overcoming mom will help you stay tuned in. I hope you enjoy this advice from mothers who are on this journey. Just like you saw our first piece of advice to help moms overcome mom guilt comes all the way from the Bahamas, from Miss Laticia Brice. Laticia is a career and business consultant. And she is the owner and operator of pack technology. And Laticia Brice consulting Let’s hear what Laticia has to say about surviving mom guilt.

Laticia Brice 2:48
Hello, my name is Laticia Brice of Paqtechnology PC Pro and Laticia Brice consulting I am a Bahama Mama. I was born and raised in Nassau Bahamas. The advice that I have to avoid mom guilt would be just to be balanced. We at times have to be away from our children for you know very important reasons, especially for those of us that have to work for maybe you have to have a nine to five or we are small business owners. You cannot always be with your child and so if your balance if you spend time with them, and actually spend time doing something that they would like to do, when you do have the time to spend with them. That’s all the child really wants. When it talks about quality time, that’s that’s what it means. I’m doing something that the child enjoys doing. And sometimes your charm and run up to you and want to share something with you. And you might be in the middle of something. You will have to consciously stop what you’re doing. And listen to what the child has to say. Give them your full attention and let them speak because at a certain point in their lives, if you don’t listen to them, then they will stop talking to you all together. 

Another thing you could possibly do is to try and find a way to include them in what you’re doing, depending of course on what do you what you do, as well as the age of the child. Maybe they can help you. If you’re writing a letter, maybe they can seal it in the envelope, anything, anything that they can do to help you. Another thing you can do to avoid that guilt is to explain to them what you’re doing. Mommy has to do this go to work in order for us to pay the mortgage or to pay the rent or in order for us to have enough money for healthy food, for vacation, things like that. And so, once you’re honest with the child, you’re balanced and you spend time with them. These are all good ways to avoid guilt.

LaWann Moses 5:48
Thank you Laticia for that wonderful piece of advice. Next up, we have Marteekah all the way from from the Bronx, New York. You can find her on the interwebs. She goes by MuvMarteekah. She is an entrepreneur, and beauty enthusiast, and CEO and founder at Marteekah. And let me tell you, she has some great videos on YouTube to help you ladies get right with your makeup and get your fashion together. So I encourage you to check out Marteekah. Let’s hear what Marteekah has to say about her number one piece of advice for overcoming mom guilt.

Marteekah 6:36
Hi, my name is Marteekah from Marteekah.com. I’m a plus size and fashion brand based out of New York City. My number one advice to women that are dealing with mom guilt is to remember that anything that you’re doing today and that takes a nominal small amount of time from all of the time that you give to your children is to benefit them in the future. As I was recording this video, my daughter literally walks in and I felt the guilt. She says, Mommy, can you come upstairs? And it can we play you can come to we can play. And I had to plainly say to her, mommy has to work. So I let her go upstairs and play with her father, and I’m sitting here and I’m completing my work. I am leaving a legacy for her. So I would just remember that any sacrifices that you make today would benefit the future of your children. And there shouldn’t be any guilt in that. I hope that this helps and just remember to just keep pushing.

LaWann Moses 7:47
Thank you Marteekah for that wonderful piece of advice. Next, we’re staying up north. We’re going to New York. Well, she used to be in New York, but now she’s in Vermont. We’re going to hear from Jill who runs an awesome page on Instagram called Lessons from the Minivan. I tell you if you want to see some relatable mom stuff, and just things that make you laugh and stuff that just remind you that you are not on this motherhood journey alone, I encourage you to check out Lessons from the Minivan. So today, Jill is going to share with us her number one lesson her number one piece of advice on overcoming mom guilt. Let’s hear what Jill has to say.

Jill Kaplan 8:34
Hi, my name is Jill Kaplan and I am a New Yorker trapped in Vermont. I run lessons from the minivan on Instagram and Facebook and Twitter. My number one thing for overcoming mom guilt is to think about that having children is just a part of your life. motherhood is just a piece of who you are. It’s taken me 23 years to realize this. So I was really fell prey to mom guilt for so long until I didn’t have anything left for me. And I became resentful, exhausted, and sad. And so learning that it’s just a piece of you really helps. There’s another thing that helped me, which was a book called, Codependent No More. The book teaches you how to set boundaries with people, including your children. I’m not talking about infants that need to be cared for. But your tweens and teens and eight year old and even four year old can do chores and can have some responsibility so that you’re not raising kids that can’t fend for themselves or take care of themselves. So it’s good for them and it takes some of the pressure off of you. One of the things that mom guilt and anxiety did to me was anytime my child had an issue with a friend or grade or school, and it still happens, I would feel their anxiety for them. And I’ve stopped doing that by just realizing this is a part of me, and that there’s other pieces to me. And finally, that my kids can handle this, and it’s good for them.

LaWann Moses 10:29
Thank you, Jill, for that great piece of advice for overcoming mom guilt. I’ll be sure to link to the book. codependent no more in the comments, so that we can all check it out and learn about setting boundaries with our children and with everyone around us. Next up, we have Antonina Geer, all the way from South Carolina.

Antonina is the owner and founder of Antonina Consulting Group She helps high achieving women of faith shift from stuck to significant. She has a passion for helping corporate women who are stuck in that corporate world and stuck with that corporate success, helping them find significance within their own lives and their own purpose.Let’s hear what Antonina had to say is her number one piece of advice for overcoming mom guilt?

Antonina Geer 11:28
Hi, my name is Antonina Geer. I live in Duncan, South Carolina. I am originally from Milwaukee, Wisconsin. My number one piece of advice for overcoming surviving mom guilt is that it is okay to rest. My kids are grown but I do remember when they were younger, just trying to do everything in anything to help them and around the house can be a professional in my job and in my business, and sometimes not getting the rest that I need and it’s okay to rest because it’s In rest that you get refueled. Also, if you’re a believer God pours into you give you insight in how to maneuver and manage your home and manage your life. So I would say rest, rest, rest, rest and it’s okay to do so. And it’s okay to step back and not do so many things until you get the rest of refill you need hope this helps.

LaWann Moses 12:26
Thank you Antonina for that great piece of advice. Finishing out this episode for us. We’re going all the way to Texas. To hear from someone who goes by the name of CJ and on Instagram you can find her at Mindset.Queen, with her newest collection, Mindset Collection where she is giving us some of the best watches that we can find that make great gifts for everyone. Let’s hear what CJ has to say is her number one piece of advice for overcoming mom guilt.

CJ Hicks 13:04
Hi, my name is CJ and I am from Dallas, Texas. My one piece of advice I would give for mom guilt or just surviving mom guilt is to write down a list of things that you love to do, from big to small. And once a month or once every two weeks or once a week, however you would like to set it up. Check something off that list, do it. It’s so important that you know you’re taking care of yourself because you honestly cannot pour from an empty cup. And your your kids see it. You know when you’re not your best self. So if you’re not able to do something once a week, at least try and check something off your list once a month or like I said whenever you have time. This has kind of helped me in the beginning. Yeah, I couldn’t I couldn’t leave the house. Very It was tough. So I did something once. And with doing something off my list once a month, it slowly started to become easier. I felt good when I did, you know, whatever it was that I checked off my list and like I said, it can range from the biggest thing you want to do to this something just as small as painting your nails, something that makes you happy, but you’ll eventually get the hang of it. And everybody you know has their own time and when they feel comfortable doing things, but this is my one piece of advice I would give to you guys.

LaWann Moses 14:39
Thank you CJ for sharing that great piece of advice with us. We heard from some great mothers today that are offering the advice that work for them, the tips that work for them to help them in their journey to overcoming mom guilt. As we know mom guilt is ever growing. Sometimes always there. But what we can do is work step by step day by day, taking little pieces of advice and work towards conquering this thing called mom guilt.

I hope you enjoyed this episode. Stay tuned because I’ll have some more great mothers coming to you. Some first time moms, some new moms, some moms that’s been in the game for a long time. We have such a variety of mothers, as I said earlier in this episode that are coming from all around the world to share on this universal topic called mom guilt.

If you’re enjoying these episodes, please be sure to stop. Take a few seconds, leave a five star rating and leave a review to help us get the more than a mother podcast into the ears into the hands of as many moms around the world as possible. motherhood is a universal experience. And being More Than a Mother is something that we all can relate to. I appreciate you being here. I appreciate you taking this time with me. Until next time, remember, you’re more than a mother, and you’ve got this.

Transcribed by https://otter.ai