Real Moms Share How to Overcome Mom Guilt (Part 4) + Top Mom Guilt Survival Tips

LaWann Moses 0:03
Hello and welcome to the more than a mother’s show. This is your host LaWann Moses back with you again. Now this time we really are wrapping up our mob guilt series. I’m coming to you with the final part of this amazing series that we have run over the past few weeks. But don’t worry just because it’s coming to an end doesn’t mean that you won’t be hearing from some more great moms in the near future. So today we have for us some very special guests we’re gonna give as always our best piece of mom guilt advice. In the event you missed any of the previous episodes, please go back and check out parts 1-3 of our mom guilt advice series. So let’s take a listen to what these moms had to say. Were their best tips on surviving mom guilt.

Joining us first today is Karen, from Karensincerely.com. Let’s hear what Karen had to say. It’s our number one piece of advice for surviving mom guilt.

Karen 1:42
Hi, my name is Karen. I’m from New Jersey and my number one tip for surviving mom guilt is to stop being so hard on yourself. We’re all trying to do it all. And you need to just give yourself the grace to know that you’re not perfect and nothing is perfect and that you’re doing the best job.

LaWann Moses 2:01
Thank you, Karen, for that amazing piece of advice. I appreciate you stopping by and lending your advice to our audience today. Joining us today all the way from Fort Worth, Texas is Ms. Marjorie. Let’s take a listen to what Margie had to say is her best piece of advice for overcoming and surviving mom guilt.

Margie 2:23
My name is Margie, Almiron and I’m from Fort Worth, Texas. My one piece of advice for overcoming and getting through the mom guilt, which I don’t think it’ll ever go away, but I really like to focus on quality time instead of the amount, the quantity of time that I spend with her. So I feel that as long as you have quality time with them and you get on the floor with them and play or read a book and you know, put all the other distractions down and just focus on them. I feel that has a great impact, because you get that one on one time with your kids.

LaWann Moses 3:01
Thank you, Margie for that great piece of advice. Next up we have Ms. Erica of the live rich movement. Let’s hear what Erika has to say is her best piece of advice for overcoming mom guilts.

Erica Lasan 3:18
I’m Erica Lasan and the one that piece of advice that I have for overcoming mom guilt is recognizing that I can’t be good for anyone if I’m not good for myself. So that means taking moments of self care to level myself, taking moments of quiet to listen to my own thoughts. That also means taking at least an hour a day to do something creative, that makes me happy. And also just recognizing the things that speak to me in a way that really helped me remember who I am, you know, in doing this, I am able to fully access all of who I am so that I can be the best in all of who I am for my children, my husband and the community at large. So, yeah, that’s my one piece of advice for overcoming mom guilt.

LaWann Moses 4:14
Thank you Erica for that great advice. Coming up to us next is someone I met through her amazing stock photo membership that she has Miss Kayla Butler of Ivory Mix. If you need some photos to help get your business right to help make your graphics pretty. And even some courses and systems and captions and things that help you up your game on social media. I definitely recommend that you check out Miss Kayla of Ivory Mix. She is always delivering great stock photos to her membership club over and over again multiple times. I mean, I just don’t know how she does it because every time I look up, I am getting some new, wonderful beautiful stock photos in my inbox. And along with all these photos that she takes, she is also a mother. So let’s hear what Kayla has to say is her number one piece of advice for overcoming mom guilt.

Kayla Butler 5:17
To answer the question, how do you overcome mom guilt? I have a few few very simple steps. Basically, I like to look at things factually, and then provide proof to myself of why those are the facts because a lot of times when we have guilt surrounding something, especially mom guilt, it usually has to do with a fear of fear of not being the best mom we can a fear of not making our kids feel as loved as they could or something along those lines and usually fear can be overcome and guilt can be overcome. Come by looking at things truthfully.

So, if I have a guilt or a fear around something regarding being a mom, mom guilt, I will lay out a piece of paper on one side I will write what the guilt is why I’m feeling guilty. What is it that I’m truly afraid of? What’s making me feel that way? And realize that guilt is just different than regret. If I regret not giving more to my kids, or if I regret not having more time, is it truly guilt? Or is it regret guilt means that I did something almost on purpose. And usually, that’s not the case. It’s usually regret and guilt. So I take out my piece of paper and I write down what is it that I’m really fearing right now? Is this truly guilt or is this just a regret of mine? And then write that out in a full paragraph or maybe a few sentences. And then on the other side, I write down what are the facts? What’s the truth?

Do I fear that my kids will think less of me as a mother? Do I fear that I will make them feel less loved? Do I fear that I don’t have enough time and that I’m failing somehow? And what’s the truth? Is it true that I’m doing the best that I can? Is it true that I could ask someone for help? Is it true that I could reach out to, you know, my husband or someone for a little a hand in something? Is it true that I’m doing the best that I can and really write out what’s true? versus Why am I having regrets and why am I feeling guilty? And usually when I have one side of the paper that says what I fear and the other side of the paper that says what’s actually true I started to feel a little better. And I start to come to the realization that I’m in control and things aren’t really as bad as they are and I can make a plan of action to make things better and improve things if I’m not happy. And so as a little motivation for improving as well as as well as improving my mood, so that those are my tips.

LaWann Moses 8:31
Thank you Kayla, for that dynamic and wonderful advice that you have given to all of us. I definitely recommend that everyone head on over to the Ivory Mix, and check out Kayla’s wonderful stock photos. They are so unique, have great value and a great quality. Head on over to her website, the Ivory Mix and when you head over there you’ll see an offer to get 500 free stock photos well over 500 free stock photos delivered direct to your inbox so you can check out her work before you even think about subscribing to a membership. I’ll link to that in the show notes that you can get your free stock photos and also check out the great membership options that she has available when it comes to quality and quality content and delivery. Kayla definitely goes above and beyond all of that. So definitely go and check her out. Thanks again, Kayla.

This is just so fantastic. This series is just warming my heart. I know I keep saying it. But I am just so excited. so thrilled, so happy with all these moms that are just stepping up making this a true community and just sharing advice to help another mom out. When one of us wins. we all win and I just encourage all my moms to just keep on pushing, keep on going and keep pouring into one another because we’ve got this Mama’s no matter how hard the journey sees no matter how difficult it is mamas we truly Have this and by one piece of advice by one piece of advice piece by piece. We are piecing this all together. And mamas we are taking a stand and saying mom guilt no more. I am just happy and thrilled. I know I keep saying it but I truly am just thank you so much to all the moms that have just contributed to this and have made this a success so far. I just truly appreciate all of you. Next up, we have Ariel Simmons that is joining us from Chicago, Illinois. Let’s take a listen to it. Ariel had to say it’s her number one piece of advice for overcoming mom guilt.

Ariel Simmons 10:41- Author of Miracle Malcolm
My main piece of advice for surviving through mom guilt would be to allow yourself some grace I know I have experienced firsthand and still experienced to this day feeling guilty for especially you know reprimanding my son or yelling at him when I have a rough day or when he’s throwing a tantrum. And I literally like em up to my wit’s end with trying to deal with him through tantrums, I’ll just, you know, yell at him or, or get frustrated and he, he sees that frustration and I just feel horrible after. So I would just say allow yourself some grace. And I know I have to sometimes take a minute and try to, you know, intentionally try to calm down or try to be more intentional as far as showing him the calm side of reprimanding and disciplining as opposed to me lashing out at me screaming or yelling, because I’m just that frustrated or stressed. So allowing ourselves grace will help us to you know, be understand that we’re human and know that you know, there’s no blueprint there is no handbook rulebook to parenting, you know, it’s, we we are going through these phases with our little ones and, you know, we’re human at the end of the day.

At the end of the day, so just knowing that, you know, it’s one day at a time, take it a day at a time and just know that, okay, we can just be more intentional about how we approach discipline or whatever is the cause of our mom guilt, just being more aware of it and being more intentional, as far as trying to be better at the approach and be better with how we handle certain things that actually give and have us feeling that mom guilt. So I think that’s the biggest advice I would give because I know I know it definitely helps me when I’m more aware, okay, you know, he’s doing this and this is happening. So how can I be better at responding that way? In the end, I don’t feel feel that guilt and I don’t feel so hard on myself because I know I handled it. I handled the situation better.

LaWann Moses 13:01
Thank you so much Ariel for that wonderful piece of advice. Wrapping up our mom guilt series is Ms. Kristine Srigley from Canada. Let’s do a Kristine had to say is her number one piece of advice for overcoming and surviving mom guilt.

Kristine Srigley 13:18
My name is Christine Shrigley, I own Body Health Coach. I am from Ontario, Canada and near Niagara Falls. And the piece of advice that I have for overcoming mom guilt is I actually have two. The first one is being that it’s okay to be selfish. Because if you don’t look after you, who else is going to write you have to put yourself first. I learned this years ago when I made time to be in the gym daily, because that was my bread and butter for my mental health and helping me function At my best with a clear head. And I know you asked for one, but there really is a second one that’s really helped me overcome guilt in my entire life. And you know what? It’s not caring what other people think. Because we do get so caught up in what people think. And I personally never did. And I’m not quite sure why. And so now right now I struggle with my 12 year old daughter to help her get over that because she does care what other people think. And I’ve always told her as long as you’re doing the right thing by the man upstairs, and you are doing it.okay.

LaWann Moses 14:40
Thank you, Kristine, for that great advice and for contributing to this podcast. I truly appreciate you. And there you have it. This wraps up our incredibly amazing mom guilt series. I am so thankful to all these moms again. for stopping by, and lending time out of their busy schedule to contribute and give advice to their fellow moms.

Here’s a little recap of the great advice that our moms had to offer. Number one, Grant yourself some grace. That was said in many different ways, by many different moms over these past few weeks. Realize mom that you cannot do it all. You’re not a superwoman and it’s okay. It’s okay. So we have to learn to be a little kinder, and a little nicer to ourselves. Give yourself permission to take a day off. Give yourself permission to get some help from someone and give yourself permission just to do nothing. It may feel different, it may feel awkward, but give yourself that grace Mama, take the pressure off yourself. be nicer to yourself. be kinder to yourself. Give yourself some grace.

Number two, take care of yourself. We’ve heard many moms say, you can’t pour from an empty cup. You can’t fill up someone else’s tank when your tank is empty. It’s just impossible. You have to feed your spirit, feed your soul. Give yourself what you need so that you can give your best to everyone else. You can’t run on empty because all you got to do is wear yourself into the ground. So you have to make yourself a priority. You have to take care of yourself. Put your needs first, put your wants first. And guess what? It’s not selfish. Well, maybe you feel you are being a little selfish, but guess what? It’s okay to be selfish at times. being selfish is not always a bad thing. Instead of looking at it as being selfish, look at it as taking the time to do Do something for yourself, to build yourself back up. That’s not selfish. That’s taking the necessary steps to make sure that you are your best self so that you can be your best self to everyone else. It’s when we strike in our sense of self, that we can be strong, and we can really pour into those around us. So take care of yourself so that you’re able to show up as your whole self and everything that you’re doing.

And our third takeaway from all the great mamas is to remember that motherhood is just a piece of you. You are a woman, before you were ever a mother. And now as you will forever be a mother, you will forever be a woman. So it’s important to remember your needs, your wants, your desires, as a person, independent of all of your roles. One of them being motherhood, one being someone’s significant other, and the various other roles that you may play in the schools in ministry at different areas of your life. It’s important to remember that you are an individual, you are a human being. And you matter as a person. You do not have to be defined by your roles, you do not have to live by your roles. It is okay to be that individual. Because before someone ever called me, mom, my name was and still is LaWann. So as long as LaWann is taking care of herself, as long as the wife is thinking of her womanhood, and treating herself as a human being, others will fall in line and do the same. So remember, you are an individual. motherhood does not define you. Your roles did not define you. You are more than a mother. You can pursue your dreams and be a great mother at the same time.

Thank you for joining me for this mom guilt series. I can’t wait to share with you all the great things that are coming up on the more than other podcasts. wondering what’s in store for the more than a mother podcast. I invite you to come back next week so that you can hear all the exciting updates that we have. As always, you know, I would love for you to subscribe, rate and leave review. To share this podcast with all the moms all the women everyone you feel can benefit from the messages that we share.

Motherhood is universal mom guilt is a universal problem, and the issues and things that we talk about something that every mother all over the world can relate to. So be sure to subscribe rate and leave a review and share this with all your friends and family and anyone that could benefit from the messages that we share. Join me next week as I share what’s coming up on the next season of the More Than A Mother podcast.

Transcribed by https://otter.ai